Lets try to look at the challenege of Yom Kippur and lets try and get somthing beneath the surface.

What exactly are we driving for in the work fro Yom Kippur? Maybe we could start like this - the Gemara says - that one day a year namely Yom Kippur - on that day your lowest self is not free to attack - you are in an eliminate transet zone where your highest self can express itself in a way no other day in the year can do it - the souce of this is that the word 'Hasaton' that specific energy - the lowest self - that could put you down in the world of the physical, material - the animal. That word in Hebrew adds to 364 and since there are 365 days in the year - one day of the year your not sunject to the force - one day of the eyar you are free from things that pervert your judgement - and defect the spirituality - you are free from that.

The question is, what does it mean to be free of these forces and is it true? Do you feel on Yom Kippur not hungry and that the body is not speaking? are you completly divorced from your lowerself? do you feel like an angel? There is an individual that doesnt feel that way - but there is a Torah guarantee here. Why isnt it tangibly felt or difficult to feel? There is amazing depth here, lets find out.

First of all the ability to feel this transendence - the ability that the body doesnt speak on Yom Kippur - the first key is that it isdependant on the first effort that is made here - there is a spiritual perinciple if you handle these things wrongly you will feel worse - You could be brought down - when the spiritual voltage is high - if it is misused can harm just as much as the physical voltage is missused, thats the rule in the world - the electric current the more you have the more you can use - you have to connect it correctly. How do you connect Yom Kippur correctly? How do you make it relevant to connect? There are 2 essential elements here before we can begin to speak about transcending the physical to move to the zone of spirituallity where impossible things become possible which is what Yom Kippur is all about - There are 2 prerequisits - one is the practicallity - you have to observe the mitzvah of the day - which is to literally detach from the body - The mitzvah on Yom Kippur is you have to - 5 things to desist from - not allowed to do on the day - The inner work is of Tefillah and Teshuva - Prayer, repent - self analysis - the practicallity is that the body has to be handled as well - in the way the body is handled on Yom Kippur is that it is disconnected - 5 things you cant do on Yom Kippur are all giving the body its Role in pleasure and expression - you are not allowed to - eat and drink - wash the body, (Not about being clean!), not allowed to anoint and pamper the body, Marital relations isnt allowed and wearing shoes - tyou have to step out of leather shoes - whats the meaning of these? whats the concept? first of all this si the practicallity that needs to be done - the mistake is that people think it is a suffering - GIves a correspondance of a Buddhist Jew - who made steps back to Jewish roots - one of the questions he write of Jews from that background - why do we Jews enshrine suffering? It is a serious error! Yom Kippur is not for suffering - Tisha B'av is time to feel pain because  of the sense of tradgedy with us - Yom Kippur isnt suffering - it is supposed to be an elation - why does Torah say an 'Inuy 9suffering)'? It means imposing on the body a certain restriction - the body is meant to suffer to the extent it is extinguished.

One of the great Rabbis of this generation - spoke about fasting on Yom Kippur - he said of course we eat on Yom Kippur - we eat the fast - its not a day of fasting  its a day of rejoicing! In The Yeshiva world the way they put it is on Tisha B'Av who can eat??? on Yom Kippur - who needs to eat?? On Yom Kippur you should feel that you dont need to eat! There is a freedom of the neshama! There are 2 ways to fast - to feel the sorrow and the suffering of the tragdy that you cant bring yourseld to eat - but there is another kind of suffering - that is the denial of the body - to leap out of the body - since eating somthing else.

Lets go beyond the surface, what is eating? whats the connection? what is marital connection and not wearing shoes? First of all they are very deep kabbalistic issue here - that there are 5 levels of expression of the soul - the lowest one is called Nefesh, the next is Ruach, the next is Neshama , there are 2 above that! Its a deep mystical subject! These five things on Yom Kippur each is a stepping out of one level of the soul - all 5 levels of the neshama are extracted out of the body, each one invests the body in a different place - connects with a different aspect of the body - and these 5 levels of detachment each one is specifically targeted against one level of the soul - detaching it from its place in the body! So that the Neshama is able to hover or in the mystical terminology its able to suround the body -they wont be limited by the body? How does it work? To give a start to a clue? what is the meaning of fasting? everyuthing in Torah is very specific it is not just some way of feeling pain - its very specific with surgical precision these things are to be applied!

Eating is the enrgy that keeps the soul connected to the body. Why do we eat? why created eating?We are spiritual beings we are created the way we were meant to be since each feature of our being has a particular spiritual meaning! Eating is the concept of the body is created in such a way - to keep the soul in the body it requires glue - it requires an attaching mechanism - the reason we need this mechanism is because the soul and the body are opposities - they reject each other - magnetically repel each other - The body is the most animalistic finite being that contains its own excrement and finite limitations and the Neshama is an animation of somthing devine - these 2 arent easily put together! These repel each other as classic opposities! Food is the special creation that brings about the bond of these 2 dimensions! If you dont eat there is a distraction that the neshama becomes less connected to the body you become faint if you dont eat long enough you lose consiousness - if you dont eat longer than that you could have a permanent disconnection! Food is that which fuels the body to the extent it keeps the Neshama in!

There are many applications to this - you eat with your mouth - that part of the body is the organ of connection - its the organ that is the manifistation of the body of the connection of opposities - thast why the mouth has 3 finctions all which are opposities! When one part of the body has more than one function those functions must all be identified - otherwise they wont have seperate sources.

The mouth has 3 function - eating - speaking - kissing. Whats the spiritual connection here? Eating is that energy entity enabling the soul to remain connected to its opposite which is the body. Speaking is the taking of the rareified spiritual concept and putting it to physical expression. Apart from the connection between people. In the Gemara when it talks about marital intimacy it uses speaking as the euphamism - not just to be clean, elevated and refined but ebcause there is a deep connection there.

Kissing is the natural expression of connection - there is no sense to it! But we have been created in a way that opposities and the mouth is that organ of connection and therefore eating is a manifistation of this and there are many other expressions of this - the sacrifieces for this - the Korbanot - the Mystical sources say - The Nefesh HaChaim that sacrifices are the concept of the world eating - just as body has a soul in it - the world has a shechina -  adivine immenence inside the world and those two are opposites and need connecting and the way to connect those is by offering Korbanot. Thats why when brought to Jerusalem to the Temple they are referred to in 'meals' e.g 'lachmi' - my bread! The alter is called Shulchan Gavua - Hashems table. Many laws in the sacrifices connected to the laws of eating meals. Nefesh Hachaim explains bring a sacrifice is like feeding the world! When that element of food is brought its the energy that keeps the shechina in the world! We dont have korbanot anymore and we see how faint the world is!

upto 13.45 mins

All we ahve is another work of the mouth - namely which is Tefilah - another work of connection using the power of speech to reconnect so we have now, incidently where are Korbanot brought - in the Temple? what is it? It has the three funstions of the mouth - what the mouth is in the body - the beit Hamikdfash - the Temple is to the world! What happens in the Temple? There is eating, sacrrifices are offered absorbed assimilated ingested - speaking - where the voice of Hashem is heard between the 2 keruvim are of speaking - THe Gemara says its the place where heaven and earth kiss - the 'heaven and earth kiss each other' The trasendant connection connects - thats why on top of the Aron there is a Male and Female angelic figure that is embracing each other - all the same idea! THis is the concept of eating, on Yom Kippur when you desist from eating its not the question that you make your self suffer beause you are hungry, what you are doing is allowing the soul to be distracted from the body, thats what fasting means - not just to self imalation and we Jews like to suffer - on the contrary we like to eat as well - The concept is when we in the fast to think about your body is the wrong thing to do - the whole idea is to free your neshama so you can live in your neshama.

What happens in the Neshama is distracted out and you forget about it - all your thinking about is your body more than in an ordinary day - this is completly wrong. The whole idea is too feel your neshama - to feel your soul on this day - expressend and not limited in your body.

What are shoes?take off your shoes? Shoes - The 5 parts of the soul - the lowest is called the Nefesh - its unique feature is of this lowest part of the solo dimension is that its where the spiritual aspect of a person connects to its physical aspect - There is a part of the soul whose function it is to provide the marvellous and miraculous connection between the spiritual and inferial entity called the soul and the finite material entity called the body. There is a spiritual thing that does that and its called the nefesh. The nefesh is kabbalistically the lowest part of the soul, the part of the soul that fits into the body - only the lowest part thats in - most of the neshama is above you, beyond you which means its higher it cant fit into the body - its not bound by the material borders of the body - the lowest part called the nefesh fits somehow into the body - the certain part of the body connected to the blood a whole discussion where - but the rest is expanded beypnd the body - The nefesh is to the body what the feet are to the shoes - the shoes are to the body what the body is to the soul - the body holds ther neshama by engaging only in its lowest part - the shoes engage the body by making contact only in the lowest part of the body. Your shoes carry you over rough ground like your body carries you across the world - The part of you that contacts the earth thats the lowest most distant part - furthest from consiousness - that contacts the earth and without shoes you cant move through the world. The shoes is to the body what the body is to the neshama - instictly the word shoe in Hebrew means to 'lock' - Where your locked in, and thats why in Jewish thinking shoes are impure - if you touch your shoes you have to wash your hands before you daven or learn - since the shoes are like a dead body. Where do you see 'shoes' in the Torah? The Kohanim when they work in the Temple they have no shoes on - they are dressed fully but shoes they have to be barefeet, why? since they are working in a domain that is half way between heaven and earth, they lift themselves out of there shoes. When Hashem appears to a prophet - he tells them to take his shoes off - The Navi must stand barefoot - why is it necessasary? because to connect with a higher world - you have to lift yourself out of this one - the 2 are in conflict - There is a mitzvah called Chalitza - its a mitzvah if a man dies without children - there is a mitzvah for his wife to marry his brother - normally marrying your brother in law is totally forbidden - in one uniques circumastance the Torah obliges the woman to marry the brother in law - if she cant do this mitzvah they do a ceremony called chalitza - where she faces the man - takes off his shoe and spits - what does it mean? Nowdays we only do this - today for the last 1000 years we have outlawed the mitzvah of Yibum - which the Torah said to do in certain circumastances - we rule were not capable of doing it anymore - instead of doing Yibum we do the Torah alternative of Chalitza. What does it mean? why take off the shoe? upto 20.20 mins

Why does this woman marry the brother, which is normally forbidden, the concept is because the husband had no children, that means theres no ongoing, if you want to put it in terms of this evening - children are considered to be your feet, the gemara says a son is the foot of his father - why? its not you feet carrying you through the world, the children carry you through the world of time - you walk on them as it were - your feet take you where your body cant otherwise - your children take you to atime your body cant extend you to - this man left without feet - he died and had no children - there is no ongoing connection of that soul in the world - continuing that chain of messianic connection - what happens? his wife marries someone in his family to bring down a spark of the same original soul - kabbalistically the child that is born is a reincarnation of the husband that died - thats why Yibum is considered a tremendous reightosness on the part of the woman - since she marries the brother - since being connected to the same source he could be the father - For Tamar for example - she married one brother and died, the second brother he also died - and then married the husband Yehudah (instead of Shelah) - the reason is in that family thats where the soul energy was transmitting itself - to rebring down the soul to the world - no greater gift a woman can give to the husband  than to bring him back to the world - you see this clearly in the case of Tamar - she married one brother - ER and ONAN - married first then seond - both died - when she married Yehudah the kabbalistic question is? which of the 2 previous husbands would come down? Then Tamar had twins - Peretz and Zerach.

What is Yimbum/Chalitza? Chalitza is if she doesnt do the mitzvah she takes off his shoe- whats she saying to him? when Ruth went to Boaz she didnt say a word - she layed down at his feet and took off his shoe - she knew exactly what she meant - that you are the relative that has to marry me and she indicated that by taking off his shoe - whats meant here? whats she saying to him is,if you dont perform the mitzvah with me to bring down that soul  - what you are doing is is keeping a soul from its body - the symbol of keeping the foot out of the shoe.

She takes the shoe off her foot to indicate it to this man - in practical terms your not allowing your body to become the vessel of a neshama -the perfect symbol of that in spiritual terms is to seperate the foot from the shoe - on Yom Kippur when you step out of your shoes what your doing is is distracting the lowest level of your soul from the body entirely. Thats the significance.

This is a day not a question of suffering, disciplining the body and beating the body down and if you dont do that its no joke - this 364 that expresses itself its the one day you are able to transcend that. You have to be relevant to that - the way its relevant is through practicallity - discipline the body that way!

What is marital intimacy? That is bringing a sensation of the next world into this world - its an energy that is generating a sense of end point - of arriving at a destination at the deepest point possible - thats its attraction why do you think the whole of society runs on that? entertainment, literiture et.c... because the most potent experiance of that thing that connection of spirit and body in the deepest possible sense - this is a day when that is disconnected! You go through the 5 - this is whats beiong done

The first work is of Yom Kippur is to practically lift above the ohysical - at least the little assistance that the neshama needs - a day of revelling and enjoying physicallity is not a day the neshama can float above. Thats the first level.

The second level is it has to be relevant to you - the neshama is in a rarefied dimension - the problem is like this - our bodies - why if i tell you your sould is free and the body doesnt speak at all - your completly above that and you say to me i dont feel that - why not? because we live in our bodies - when we sepearate our souls from the bodies we remain where the body is. Lets go back to the beginning when Adam was created, he was created in a way the body was totally disciplined - there was no problem with the body it was only a loyal vessel that didnt speak at all - some of the deepersources say - if you want to picture Adam and Chava - to imiginate it as the exact polar opposite of what we look like now! The way we look now is entirly body - thats why this generation believes we are nothing less than gorillas. Where do you see the humanity/spirituallity of a human being? if you look carefully on the face theres a glow on the face called Ziva Panim - and on the hands also - but on the Face it is called panim - which means outside and inside - pnim - in English the face means outser - facet - in Hebrew the same thing that means out means in - amazing thing. The eyes are also like that - the deepest part of the face is the eye - ayin in hebrew means the place where inside comes outside, it means inside going outside and maayan means your spring - the place where the hidden underground water burst forth the inderground world. Thats what the eye is - where that part of the face represents inside and outside.

upto 27.30 mins

The way we look is - you see the body - you look very carefully there is a faint echo - faint glow on the face - its the difference between a face alive and a second after the life has ended. It is very hard - you could never measure that - Adam when created looked exactly the oppositie - all you could see at him was the spirituality - what happened? he brought the world down into physicallity by doing what he did - ate of the world on all the levels and the result became that the dominance became reversed - when he was created the mind his spirit and neshama was all that there was - the body was only the whisp of a vessel just enough to contain that light and we have become all body and there is just the fainted whisp of a soul that you may one day make some contact with. The best thing when the Torah speaks of his conciousness when he was created he thought of himself as pure, good and spiritual thats all he was - the way the Torah denotes that is that when the lower self spoke it spoke as external being - a serpant - it spoke from without not within - The serpant appeared and said you should take the food e.t.c and do this and that - it was an external being - there was no internal component that spoke of evil in the body - but after he sinned the first person becomes the body - the gemara says that your yetzer hara - your lower materialistic and bodily element is like a visitor that walks past in the street - a moment later he stands on the doorstep like a begger - the moment after that hes a guest in your house and before you know that he is taking over and then youd be lucky to be a guest - sometimes you are way out on the street begging - starving - how do we see that? Because of the way we think of ourselves - the Me the I is always the first person body its always like that - its very humiliating but that is the way we think about ourselves - when there is somthing bodily and delicious that appears to you - how does your consiousness grasp it? as me as I, Me - i would like that - and how does your spirituallity and consious speak to you? it says you know you shouldnt - the voice is usually I"D LIKE THAT - and the concious is excuse me - you! you shouldnt! This very thin voice in the second person reminds you of consiounce. That is very humiliating - we have been invaded - we and our culture has been so deeply invaded that you wouldne even believe me! because we think about ourselves so intimatly, so deeply, so pervasilvly in the first person body, that we cant even relate to this idea. But we have been taken over, invaded, the first person - that means your sense of identity - who you are as your body - that means your primary interest in life is your pleasures your bodily wellbeing - how you feel. and your mind is  slave and spirit but the body is happy - thats a complete travesty a reversal of the dominance the human being was created for - you are supposed to be a mind/neshama that is dominance and your body is meant to be a slave feeding into the neshama what it needs - but look at our culture - is it a world driven by spirit? and the bodies a loyal servant? Its not like that - its a world that appeals to the body and the mind is tuned to serve the body. Even those things out there that perport yourself spirituallity are there to make you feel good - there not a sense of service! It isnt only institutions that cater to the body - the ones that cater to the mind are also feeding the body - even the deeper treachory - A person who used the world this way isnt going to feel the transcendant Yom Kippur - hes not going to be 364 - he is a 365 individual - first of all you need the practicallity to get out of your body and you have to do it by carefully pobserving the laws of the day - pay no attention to the body - you dont feed the body - you step out of the body - secondly you have to work on the mind to that one day a year can think of itself in the first person as mind - as a neshama/ spirit - can you imagine the travesty of a person who fasts all day - doesnt wear shoes - and all he can think about is the sore feet/back/ stomach  and the grumbling - its a tragedy! Its supposed to be a day of elation of spirituallity where you are not hindered by the body - it doesnt bother you about it.

32.30 mins

On a day like that you can come to grips with who you really are - what your agenda is and thats why it is a day of teshuva - coming back to your self- It means 'return' to who you are! Lets take it one step further,,

Yom Kppur has two characteristics - its the day of ultimate teshuva of atonement, forgivenss, atone meent and its the day of the giving of the Torah - where Moshe went up the mountain for 40 days and 40 nights and came down qith the Torah the second time - the first time the tablets had been broken - the second time he came back with the second tablets that werent broken and remained - there is an interesting convluence of events - on this day the Jewish people were forgiven - the concept was they incurred a decree of distruction - Hashem said - 'leave me' and 'i will destroy them' - thatw as the decree - on this day we were forgiven from decree of annihalation and the second tablets were given as part of that - you have to ask what is the connection? why is atonement and being forgiven that your life was spared connected with the giving of the Torah? There is an amazing connection - the first layer is the giving of the Torah and Teshuva go together because it means going back to Torah (teshuva) - Torah is a description fo the world of essence and relaity - its not a document that comments on the world - the Torah is the source of reality - it defines the world - the Torah manifests in the world - it says the way the world si - its a tragic error to think the Torah describes the world - The Torah was written before the world - the world describes the Torah - a film doesnt reflect whats on the screen it causes whats on the screen - the Torah is the film the world is the screen - the Torah was written 2000 years before the world was created - it projects itself into the fabric of reality - thats the world we experiance - going back to the Torah means going back to the correct objective definition of reality - and in personal terms it means going back to yourself - on Yom Kippur you are supposed to discover where you are written in the Torah - the Shlaa says the word Yisrael spells - the six letters spell - 'there are 600,000 letters in the Torah - what does it mean? that there is 600,000 root souls - each of them you - attached to a root - the Jewish soul root - thats a letter in the Torah - going back to your letter in the Torah - when we finish our tefiullot we say our name - when finish the amidah - the essential work of the prayer - we say our name - first we say the verse in the Torah which begins the first letter of our name - and ends with the letter your name ends with - that is your hint to where you are located in the Torah - because that is who you are now - Teshiva means going back to the Torah definition of self - the two are intimatly connected - so the day of the giving of the Torah is exactly the day of going back - is that its your root in the objective defining of relaity - what does it? you should see yourself as who you are on Yom Kippur, thats whats so frightning about the day. The rest of the year you dont see yourself as the way you are - you see yourself as in your body - the first issue is how am i percieved - the way i look? and how do i think? i think the way i think that my body shpould look. Yom kippur is the one day you dont think like that - its the one day when you can see who you really are - the inner agenda freed from the constraints and allusions of the body - you have to work on that - you have to work by distracting the soul from its own trap of seeing yourself incorrectly - person that does that is guaranteed that on Yom Kippur the body will not speak - amke the effort - observe the laws correctly and you redine the way you are - that your internallity is primary and your externality is irrelevant- its been dropped off and shed with the body - at that moment you gain a clarity of who you really are - its very humiliating - very boring - a vast empty echo - but it is very liberating - you know how painful it is to lift your self out of your body? and being discovered is niothing is there, its a tragedy, the real tragedy is that you die that way.

The Rambam says before you die you have to do Teshuva - when he talks aboiut doing teshuva before dying he says to be careful - dont only do teshuva for your sins - you also have to do teshuva for your character traits - if you are a personally internally angry/jelous - even if never expressed that that means you are a compltly saintly spiritual individual externally - you never miss a step - abeat - you always respond correctly - but ionwardly you have unpleasent character traits - thats a remarkable stage of development - but internally you see things negativly/ jelously/ you lack inner serenity - you could be a perfect individual that way the problem is when you die and you are utterly alone all you experiance is what your consiousness and charater really is - thats who you are - the gemara says that each individual in the next world is alone - from this perspective - each of us is totally alone in the next world - i metioned before husband and wife are bonded into one internally - we all know its good for some of us - a part from that male/female connection which is one soul - apart from that your alone - and being alone with yourself you are for a long time - mitzvot and aveirot is already being worked out - but who you actually are is your ecstancy of being in that world is experiancing what youve become through the effort that you invested to become it - but the agony is experiancing what you didnt become and what you should have - if you unpleasent to be with and you are all there is to be with - at best it is extremly boring - and it worst it can be hell  - so therefore you need internal correction - Yom Kippur isnt only for the way you treated that person in this relationship - its also the relationship with self - in Jewish terms - we regard the relationship with self as being primary - in the non jewish world if you ask what the general secular world defines as being a good person, and youll see the definition is to do good unto others - its not the jewish definition - our definition is be good onto yourself before you do to others - have to be someone compotent and serene - what are you to someone else if you arent serene to yourself? what do you offer me in a relationship? if i define my self about how i relate to you but there is no contact to me - what am i worth to you? so we begin with be someone within yourself - the ultimate expression of that is when someone leaves this world - there is only the internal consistency the internal experiance of what you are, and therefore youdont only correct your behaviour you have to correct your inner being as well - theres a day when you come face to face with that inner being - the distractions on the way the body speaks - and how demponstrates/progects itself is a potential to switch that off on Yom Kippur!

upto 40.50mins

Lets gi one step further, there is a deeper secret here as well, its completly incomprehensible - on yom kippur you can get up to a level that is impossible - just to begin to appraoch this you know we say the 13 attributes of mercy - Hashan, Hashem are the first two - For selichot we say it for a month or few days before rosh hashana - yom kippur we say it again and again and at Neilah we come to a climax we say them over and over - what is the meaning of these 13 middot? these things come from a high place. In kabbalistic description of where these 13 middot come down from from a place almost forbidden to speak about - it can lift you into a world of impossibility - when the Jewish people were about to be destroyed - Hashem said to Moshe, leave me.. you are holding onto me, i will destroy the Jewish people - Moshe the great shepherd took care of us - hearing the words 'leave me' he thought i am holding and saw from the words leave me an invitation - why does Hashem speak that way? there is a deep secret here - his loyal servant is standing there and the Hashem says to him the Jewish people ahve forfeited their lives - there is a decree they will now be destroyed - 'leave me' what he really wants is for Moshe to say - you cant do that, its not right, what will the Egyptians say? e.t.c.. Then eventually G-d would say i have forgiven as you have said - and he negotiatted our forgivenss given the Torah a second time and brought it down. Why does G-d deal with people that way? with a bleak referance if you are holding you have to... there is a big secret - these 13 attributes of mercy - these reach into a place where you could survive connected to that place - where not only is it impossible to survive but when he himself has said it is impossible. There is a level a person can reach which is complete personal disintegration - complete hoplessesness - literally and correctly - from there there is no return. The Maharal says the word Teshiva is based on the root shav - that in Hebrew is Atbash - its the second of the Atbash combinations - shav is shin and bet you can go from the second last back to the second. Return. The Maharal asks why not from the Taf to the aleph? do the jop properly. He says if you reach the end there is no left to go back. If you reach complete disintegration there is no one left to go to the back. and if not left anything to go back to there is no aleph -no whisp of memory of relaity- you can go from the shin to the bet - the 13 attributes of mercy mean you can go beyond teshuva - - can go from a TAf - theres been such disintegration that the creator testifies that there is no hope for you! From there you can reconstruct and go back, how? by reaching to the level of impossibility, its remarkable thing, where do you see this? First example is Hashem said to him theres a decree of destruction - leave me! Moshe holds on and says since you ipportune me this way here is what to do - a midrash said Hasham covers him with a tallit like chazon and said these are the words you say when you are in a hopeless situation and i will never return these words unresponded -and he said the 13 attributes and taught Moshe these 13 middat Harachamaim - moshe then taught them ! he then forgived him as if said these 13 attributes! Hashem taught moshe the secret that able to regenerate salvation at a time when he is announced openly that it has become impossible, that level of impossibility - and the result is that he does this and the decree is overturned not just that we are given the Torah again after having broken it - to have recieved the Torah thr first time itself goes beyond human expression - what do you say to the fact we took it and broke it - rejected it and broke it - then he gives it back again after its destruction, do you know what that means? If you are located in Torah thats your definition of reality - if youve broken those tablets and dont exhist anymore - only fragments - they get given again on Yom Kippur - your own source in essence  - this is a day your reallity can be reconstructed, thats miracuolous in the miraculous,

Another example, individual called Acher, one of the greatest sages of all time, on the level to be able to resurrect the dead - and he went wrong - he became a deliberate denier, a heretic, went wrong. He was one of the 4 people who went into the ultimate orchard of the spiritual wisdom in the higher worlds - he was damaged - he went wrong- the gemara says he was judged so negative so evil - he did not merit to get into gehinom - he couldnt even get into hell - to be burnt - Rav Meir said he had to daven for him so that his rebbe will be admitted into gehinnom - it wasnt even worth to be corrected - after that prayer they began to see smoke coming out of his grave. This is for many decades, Rav Yochana davened for him to get out and it stopped. Where Achar went wrong people said to him why dont you make teshuva? correct yourself, he said i ahve went to far - and he said 'i heard a voice - the voice said - return wayward children except for Achar - there is no hope for him - i heard him say that - this was a man that explored all the worlds - when i heard that if he rejects me - he says i am beyond repentance - then what hope have i got? and he left. Rav Dessler says in the name of the Baal Shem Tov that when Hashem announced that you are an exception and there is no hope for you - he wasnt declaring a fact - he was issuing a challenege - he was saying 'leave me' meaning he was still holding - Achar heard the side of leaving he didnt hear the side of the fact that if you had to leave you are still holding - this was a test not information - Hashem wasnt declaring a fact - he was issuing a challeneg - thats why he informed him he was hopeless - what i want from you is the gretaness of heart and spirit that inexpressible courage that takes to reconstruct from a close disintegrated state, had he done that he would have been accepted.

upto 50 mins

When there is no free choice left - thesources say this - Pharoeh for example - Hashem denied his feree choice - took it away by hardening his heart - had he made the effort he could have come back from there - but its impossible since no free choice? The midrashim say that the same thing happened to the Jewish people - they got together at Har Carmal and Elyahu the prophet gathered them and there was an ordeal - the Jews had to choose between idolatry - the priests of the idolotrous practices and the real souce - there was miraculous event and the Jews of that generation - declared that Hashem is transsendent entity that is beyond human understanding is in fact a divine presence in the world - the gemeara says it was exactly parellel to Sinai - the midrash says that Moshe and Elyahu are parallel - they are both from the tribe of Levi , they are both prophets - gathering the Jews onto a mountain - standing on Har Carmel was a repeat performence of the giving of the Torah but there was one differene - it was that recieving the Torah at Mount Sinai was miraculous, divine, transcendant but it happened - standing on Carmel - why was it repeated, Hashem has to do it twice? it taught us total different lesson - now you can do it when it has become impossible, Elyahu said to Hashem that they cant accept you becuse you have hardened there hearts - you are asking these people to see and accept you - but you made it impossible for them - yourve heardened there hearts - you took away there free choice - we are talking about your ability to choose snuffed out - thats what it means to have your heart hardened - this is an opportunity to go beyond that - and when they did that they reveled it possible not just to receive the Torah in normal circumastances - but to receive the Torah when it became impossible - thats what was reveled there - many examples - for Exampole Rav Elazar Ben dodaya who also disintegrated entirely it happened in the area connected to woman - totally lost all sense of self respect - there was nothing left - ultimatly the gemeara says he heard about a woman in some place in the 7 oceans - a woman who took a bag of gold - he made the journey took the gold - when he was with her - it says a certain incident occured - she said for you there is no hope - you have so disintegrated , sunk so low, so sold out, so perverted your purity - the gemara said he appealed to the world - going to the sun, the ,mountains, eventually said it only depends on me, he went onto the mountain top - put his head between his knee and he cried with a depth of expression to return to purity even though he was informed reliably that he cant but he managed - it cost his life - his neshama left him int hat effort - The Maharal says there is nothing insignificant in Torah - he climbed a mountain put his head between his knees, what does that mean? he put them in the featal position - the genmara says the fetus - the child is folded over between his knees - it means he has to go back to who he was before it began - a deep construct - prior to the days called the beginning - Yom Kippur is amazing - its a day far beyond - a day to do teshiuva when it has become impossible - a day when it becomes possible to reconstruct pieces that are not only disintegrated but the pieces arent there any more - thats the meaning of 13 attributes of mercy - Hashem, Hashem - those 2 names mean the name of rachamim - Hashems name of kindness - of giving extensions together with the name of din - those 2 names before a person sins and the name after - Hasham, Hashem - we say the name twice - Hashem that is your name before a person sinned and then the same name after! which emans that there is no change - Even when Middat Hadin that means the strict quality of justice means you have forfeited all right to exhist in the world - there is another qulaity that justice itself requires the ability to reconstruct! and therefore the same name , the name of kindness - before and after that disintegration.

Lets summarise, we are talking here about a day of opportunity of teshuva, to go back in the self , of coarse someone has to do the basic mitzvah of teshuva - that is vidduy - confess say what it is you have done - you have to say an expression of remorse and shame - you have to say you wont do it again - saying whats in the machzor isnt good enough - since whats written is 'we have sinned... there is plenty of expression of remorse and shame but you will not find a statement that says you wont do this agin - you cannot do teshuva unless youve added that third component - why isnt it written ion the service? tehres obvious reason - becuase all of our prayers are expressed in the plural always - when we are togtehr that is the only place where we have hope, but when speaking in the plural we can certainly all say we feel shame and remorse but how can I say YOu wont do it again - I cant say that only Youn can! only i can decied what iw ill do - so therefore each of us will ahve to say that - its not fgood enough just to say regular one - personal vidduy / communal you ahve to say - remorse shame and regrte you have to do that and you have to add in the fact that you are changing your life - going in the right direction -0 of feel obstructed that youve done it so many times before and its now impossible - nothing more humiliating - its like married couples that argue about the same thing - same words - youd think they would put a little spice or variety in there marriage - think about somthing new to argue about - thats how we are married to our lower selves we say we wont do the same thing then next week we do same thing again - you think its a little immature to fall in the same trap - its nimpossible to climb out of the trap - yom kippur is a day if taken seriously - lift yourself out of your body correctly that is the beginning of the work - but not just to life yourself out - and also forget/ transcend the body - not life yourself out and worry abouth the body. once you are in the zone of neshama of mind - you should be on the level where it doesnt even feel tiring to stand - for hours - or not eat for hours - work has to be - this is me - not just wanting to get back to the body! you should say He is a temporary being that one day will be shed as external! You can achive that with just one moment of redinfining of who i am - the body will disintegrate with time sooner or later - the genuine self is this one in here - at least the work of realizing it - then there is the question of choosing a new direction of cleansing that - no mattter how empty it is or disintegrated - thats what Yom Kippur is and therefore we say the 13 attributes of mercy - this idea of 13 is they are all one - it is Hashems idea of oneness - we are going back to the source - going back to the Torah - its a day of receiving a Torah when its already been lost it has already been broken - its given again miraculously - its a day when hes been giving its own instruction even when he himself as it were tells you you are hopeless - thats a challenge! A Jew has to live on a level that whats possible or impossible isnt relevant - thats what it means - the basic requirment of being a Jew is that you have the raw courage to be able to lift yourself out of a post hopeless situation - the Alter of Kelm used to say ask not if you think its possible - ask only if its necessary! possible or impossible isnt necessary to me - if its necessary then its good!

Yitzchak the first Jew born to a Jew was sacrificed - the ash remained on the mizbayach - according to the Midrash -  its was burnt and he climbed off and walked off to get married - its completly impossible but thats what Yitzchak is - a person who at one at the same time is burnt and transcends into a higher world - at the same time he walks off and begins his life as the father of the Jewish people - the Ari says Yitzchak spells 'kets' 'chai' - death and life! thats who the Jewish people are - we begin where the impossible ends - we begin where the spare ends - we are supposed to ebgin where ut gets impossible!

Theerfore the focu  for yom kippur is to be the practicallityies - we need that - we are trapped in our bodies - we have to lift ourselves up - then there has to be the work of lifting the mind out of the mind - then the mind out of the body - in raw consiousnes terms then there has to be the work that relaising that youve relating here to somthing thats far beyond spiritual - talking about somthing deeper than giving of the Torah! somthing after the Torah became impossible and being rejected and broken - and then given again - tahst the possibility of Yom Kippur - for one who lives in his body there wont be a different day - not going to be a new start -if its lived as a day thats 1 out of 365 - tahst different than the 364 - lived that way in body and mind - then it could be a possibility of genuine reconstruction!